Surrender

I heard the word “surrender” earlier this year.

At that time, I had no idea what would be required of me. 

Surrender my desire to know.  Surrender my desire not to know.

Surrender my desire to control. Surrender my “rights.”

Surrender my agenda. Surrender my timeline.

There have been so many little times this year when the small voice reminds me again- surrender. My desire is to grow and change those areas that need rearranging. So, when a circumstance presents itself, I want to first run it through the “what can I surrender here?” paradigm. 

Why?

Call it time, age, experience, or the like but as I have noticed nothing new happens when I wait on others to change. It changes when I do. 

When “she” – the old me- changes so much more also changes.

It changes when “she” chooses to see it differently, when “she” challenges her mental narrative, listens to her spoken voice and to her inner voice when “she” speaks. 

What has been learned so far?

Not knowing is freeing. Knowing, even when not really wanting to know can be life-changing.

Surrendering the need to control is freeing. 

Controlling thoughts and words can be life-changing.

Surrendering rights has led to growth in faith.

Can Jesus really vindicate? Can Jesus really validate? Can Jesus truly authenticate?

Surrendering the agenda. When was it ever truly owned? Surrendering the agenda has been eye-opening and freeing. Difficult, but also enjoyable.

Surrendering the timeline has been the most difficult. Time is often more the enemy than the friend. 

Surrender?

Sir, end “her.”